CUPID'S CHOKEHOLD

Dear John,
 
I'm in bed thinking...what happens when I meet you ten years from now? How will I handle that belly flip I know is inevitable? We're keeping apart because it seems best for the situation; best for your relationship! Best for my heart! However, I wonder what will happen when we run into each other ten years from now.  When Carrie saw Big after break-up number two, the end result was the ruin of a perfect relationship with Aidan. What will happen when we meet in the future with all these unresolved feelings?
 
I told you I loved you, you didn't say it back. I said let's be friends, you leaned in to kiss me. I'm done with turning my lips away when all I want is to feel your lips on mine. I'm done with telling you not say those things, when those are the exact words I want to hear.
 
And so we decide apart is better...or at least you respected that. But then you send a text, "I really miss you!"
 
"Well…I really miss you! Fuck! There… I said it", the sound of Big’s voice over the telephone and with those few words everything that (maybe) wasn’t meant to be spiralled down-hill. So I ask, "What did you say?"

Before you repeat those words, think, because I will, like Carrie, act on them.

Sex and the City, Season 3 Episode 38: The BIG Time

WHY WE LOVE... NATE ARCHIBALD!

When Raina Thorpe looked at Nate Archibald in the Gossip Girl episode “While You Weren’t Sleeping”, she didn’t have to spell out her desire for more days of firsts with him, for me to know what she was thinking. Watching her beside Chuck Bass was not the perfect fit, even though every girl would love to have Milan brought to her. But after all’s said and done a girl wants what she wants! Black girls want Nate Archibald! I would know; the heavenly blue eyes dressed in designer lashes; the athletic bod, wrapped in “I don’t care clothes” and that sandy hair, we want to get our hands into.

                                           

Take a look at the mixed relationships around you: black girl-white boy. For a black girl to go down that trail, she has to be offered the the opposite of what’s available to her. Black guys are Chuck Basses deep inside, despite the skater boy jeans or Hampton-striped shirts that are in. They want to take control and care about what their girls look like or how they act around them. So it should not be a surprise that it would only take one encounter with Nate to make Raina realise that though she’s all up on the Upper East Side, she is just like every other black girl.

Yes! I too, with my chocolate skin and deep brown eyes will love me some Nate Archibald! I will give the uptight brother a hug and a kiss goodbye at the opportunity to explore this desire. It’s not just about the looks-though it definitely part of it- but about the freedom to be yourself. To lay in bed and talk about nothing, to open your mouth and say how many times you love being around him without the fear of him thinking you’re too clingy. To have him come up to you in a jealous rage instead of hitting up on a hot girl to get back at you….the freedom to be in love in a relationship. That’s what Nate Archibald allows the black girl to do, to be loose from the scheming of ‘would he or would he not like this’. Yes, Chuck Bass has his moments and when he goes in he goes in really hard.  However, having your boyfriend every day is better than having him pop up once a month. This may just be a perception, but until black men allow themselves to be totally in a relationship, and get over so 90s player status and image of what a real man is, I guess the Raina’s of this world will keep on exploring...or wising they would have an opportunity to and if they think the thought will never cross their mind, let’s wait and see what happens on that chance encounter...



Zoe & Keith



Eve & Shane